The Man I Am

birdsSomeone once told me, the hatch-ling of a bird, looks at the other birds flying and dreams of the day it will flap its wings and join the others. Its dreams though, are sometimes too ambitious, it wonders why the other birds don’t fly to the sun, why they don’t patch on the moon, and it dreams of the day; it will be the first to do so, it will fly better, fly higher, close to the sun, kiss the skies and smile down to the world. But when it’s finally able to fly, it realizes life and flying is not what it thought it was. Those dreams, it shelves some, like ribbons in the wind, fade away.

My life, in more ways than one has been like that hatchling. In this world, have crawled, ate dust as I slowly staggered my way to walking upright. I finally found wings and at times an embrace of the skies was not enough, coz a kiss from the sun, would be a dream come true but just like Icarus, I forgot, my wings were held together by wax and crushing was inevitable.

Have swum in the sea of opportunities and rode on waves of success, but drowned have also been in the mist of loss, sorrow and uncertainties. Have fought and lost but have also fought and won, have had my foot on the sand grains but have also touched the star dust. Dreams have had, some painfully faded, some have come true and some… will never fade.

In pursuit of those dreams that will never fade, have made choices, some wise, some very stupid and regrets I have for that but if have learnt one thing it’s that there are more important things in life than having a nice shoe and accumulating wealth, like having people in your life that you love and care about; that’s invaluable. I have learnt that living is an art, not a science. Its brush strokes and music and words flowing endlessly from one row to the other forming paragraphs. And art, has to mean something, it has to make you feel.

In the train life, when the distance between the lamppost starts to reduce signifying a terminal, I no longer care if its destination success or disappointment, I no longer care if my companion or friend is going to alight or continue with the journey all that matters, is how I make them feel, all that matters, is the impact I have in their lives. What’s important is what we live behind when we are gone, and since tomorrow is but a dream, the token that is today, I’ll use to leave a positive impact in the world.

And in the end I suppose, I have to appreciate the good but also the bad. To struggle through the night if I wish to see the sun rise… And now that I can finally see the shards of sunlight rays engulfing my world, to all the people who have changed my life, for better or for worse am forever grateful. Am proud to say I no longer live a life of volume but that of depth. Am proud to say, I no longer flap my wings with fear, the boy I was is sure so proud of the man have become.

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